It's not over
by Desire Doll
Summary: "He was sorry, which meant he thought it was a mistake. I knew that since nothing had happened, I shouldn't be hurt. But I was. My heart ached for him.I don't know why, but the thought that he was unattainable made me want him even more."OOC AH. Rated M.


**If you read the latest chapter in my other story Hostage (chapter 7), you'll see that I said I've been going through some stuff. **

**Well, that stuff has inspired me to write this story. **

**Hope you like it.**

_Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is hard._

BPOV

If I said "The first time I saw him, I knew he was the one for me," I would be lying. I had known him since I was practically born. But the first time I REALLY saw him, I was fifteen and in my pajama's at my best friends house. My first thoughts when I saw him weren't ones of love or happiness. My first thoughts were of me being in skimpy pajama's and there being three full grown very attractive men around me.

_~Flashback~_

_"Bellaaa," Alice whined. "Please?" I shook my head stubbornly. "No Alice." Pitiful whimpers filled the air and I rolled over to see her giving me the famous "Cullen Puppy eyes." I groaned and covered my eyes. "Alice Cullen, that's not fair and you know it." A couple seconds passed and I peeked through my fingers only to see her still looking forlorn. "Fine!" I huffed as I got up. "I'll get you a bloody Pepsi." She flung herself across the bed and kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks gorgeous." She sang. I just flipped her off as I stomped down the stairs._

_The Cullen's house was both huge and gorgeous. The wall of Alice's floor were painted a vibrant shade of purple with little pink accents. And in true Alice fashion, there we pictures of models and sketches of clothings strewn everywhere. She was an aspiring fashion designer and we all believed without a doubt that someday soon the name Alice Cullen would be on the covers of magazines everywhere. She had designed everyone of our party dresses and even helped design her sister-in-law Rosalie's wedding dress. Alice had true vision and was really going to make something of herself._

_Muttering under my breath, I made my way to the first floor where the kitchen was. Their kitchen, just like the rest of their house, was magnificent. It was various shades of grey and white. There were windows instead of walls, giving it a very spacious feeling. As I stood there, staring out into the forest, I missed the sound of Emmett's jeep pulling up. Even if I had been paying attention, I doubt I would have heard it. The Cullen's cars were all flawless and purred like a kitten. Making my way over to the fridge, I pulled open the door. My eyes scanned the shelves, looking for the soda that Alice had sent me down for. There was no lack of food what so ever and everything was organized so that you could find whatever you needed with the slightest ease. My hand grabbed two Pepsi's and two pudding pop's from the freezing. I closed the down and turned to walk back up stairs only to come face-to-face with Emmett Cullen. _

_Well, mind you, it was more like face-to-chest. Emmett's 6'3 frame towered over my petite frame of 5'1. I yelped and fell backwards onto my ass. Loud guffaws of laughter filled the kitchen as I realized that Emmett wasn't only one there. Emmett stood in the middle of the group. Six foot three and made purely of muscle, Emmett Cullen looked like a beast. But anyone who knew him knew that he was as cuddly as a teddy bear and a total bitch when it came to his wife. Rosalie wore the pants in their relationship but we were all pretty sure that Emmett liked it that way. He was twenty-one and gorgeous, exactly like his wife. He had curly black hair and bright blue eyes. With his tan skin, he looked like a model, but then again it seemed that everyone the Cullen's came in contact with did, minus me of course. He seemed to always be smiling and did anything to just to get a good laugh. Emmett had acted as my pseudo-brother ever since we were little._

_ To his left stood Jasper Whitlock, his best friend we were all little. Jasper was 6'1 with wavy blonde hair and striking grey eyes. To anyone who didn't know him, he seemed quiet and shy but we knew better. Jasper was both quick-witted and sarcastic. He had an amazing sense of humor and was quick to protect anyone of us. Jasper had recently celebrated him twentieth birthday where he met his current girlfriend, Jessica Stanly. None of us could stand her, especially Alice who had been in love with him since we were twelve. It sounds sappy, but Jasper and Alice were just right for each other, despite the age difference. Alice was bright and happy, where as Jasper was dark and full of angst. She was the yin to his yang._

_To his right stood Edward Cullen. Edward was Emmett's other best friend. I'd seen him plenty of times before, but had never looked at him in any way other than friendly. Of course I was aware of the fact that he was gorgeous but never before had I seen him like I was now. Edward has bronze hair, like that of a newly minted penny and green eyes, green as the grass that spread throughout Forks. He was a mischievous man, always pulling pranks with Emmett. His humor was quirky and dark. His smile was crooked, but made all the girls sigh and wish that he would glance their way. At six foot, he was the shortest of the group but still almost a foot taller than me. He was strong, having carried me back home when I sprained my ankle. He was also the youngest of the group, being only nineteen. _

_"How's the view from down there, Bella?" Jasper called through his laughter. "Can't be much different from when she's standing up." Emmett said, winking. I huffed in embarrassment, cursing the blush that spread across my face. A large hand appeared in front of my face as Emmett offered to help me up. Flipping him off, I hoisted myself up on my own. I raised an eyebrow as I stared at them, waiting for their laughter to subside. When it didn't I groaned loudly." Are you alright Bella?" I asked, making my voice low like Emmett's. "Why yes Emmett, thanks for asking." I pitched my voice high and bubbly. They stopped laughing and smiled at me, looking slightly guilty. "Are you okay Bells?" Jasper asked. I smiled sweetly at him. "I'm fine Jazz, thanks for caring." I stared at mine and Alice's snacks strewn across the floor. _

_When I looked back up, I realized that all the boys were standing there with their mouths hanging slightly open. My brows furrowed in confusion and Emmett coughed, saying" Uhm...nice pajama's Bella." My whole body flushed red as I cursed Alice too the deepest pit in hell. I had forgotten that she had made me wear a pair of boy short pajama's with a mid-drift top. They were black and red, with tiny little lightning bolts. She had said that I needed to show of my figure. I said She needed to have her eyes checked. But in the end, like always, Alice won and I ended up wearing the skimpy little pajama's that only covered what was necessary to cover._

_"Uh-uh-uh," I stuttered, edging backwards towards the stairs. I wrapped my arms across my stomach. Suddenly, Jasper snapped out of it. "Jesus Christ, Bella!" He shouted, causing us all to jump. "When in the hell did you grow up?" This thought seemed to be shared by both Emmett and Edward who nodded furiously. My eyes widened as I continued my trip to the stairs. "Uhm, I don't know." I babbled. "A while ago I guess. I just didn't go flaunting it around." Emmett seemed to remember it was his role to protect me and quickly ripped off his hoodie and draped it around my shoulders. "Good!" He exclaimed. "I'm beginning to think I need to guard you from all those boys twenty-four seven. With a body like that, I'm surprised you haven't been proposed to yet!" _

_"Christ Emmett!" I laughed. "I'm only fifteen." In unison, all the boy's eyes widened. I felt myself beginning to feel more and more uncomfortable. "Guys, c'mon." I stuttered. "We've known each other since I was born. You should already know this." I looked from face to face. Jasper's was still shocked. Emmett was looking the other two with a fierce gleam in his eyes, that if the other two dare to make a move he would rip them limb from limb. But Edward was the one that hurt. His face had turned indifferent, with a sort of harsh appraisal in his eyes. Like he'd seen better. I felt as though I'd been punched in the gut. "I have to go." I said, my voice choking up a bit. Emmett's eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Bella-?" He began, but I just grabbed our things from the floor and sprinted back up the stairs to Alice's room. I flung open the door, making Alice jump in surprise. I thrust the pudding pop and Pepsi at her and flopped down on her couch. "Sweetie?" Her voice was tinged with worry. "What's wrong?" But I just shook my head and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Jasper's downstairs." Her eyes widened in delight and within a second she was out of the room. I quickly locked her door, flopped down and cried. _

_Half an hour passed and I was all cried out. I felt stupid for crying over something as juvenile and shallow, but Edward's quick dismissal of me hurt. We'd been friends for years and for him to just act like I had nothing there was hurtful. I felt disgusting. My pale skin looked sickly to me. My brown eyes looked dull and my hair no longer looked chestnut colored, as Alice called it. It looked like mud. I felt all my insecurities bubble to the surface. As I stood there picking myself apart in the mirror, a knock sounded from the door. I started, then calmed myself down. My eye's were slightly red from my crying, as was my nose but other than that, I looked semi-normal. My shaking hand unlocked the door and pulled it open a crack. I expected to see Alice, but instead saw Edward. "What do you want?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly. His eye's widened. "I thought you might want some company, seeing as Alice is currently preoccupied by Jasper and Emmett left to go see Rosalie." I couldn't think of a believable excuse for why I wouldn't want his company, so I sighed and opened the door and ushered him in. _

_He flopped down on the couch and I went and sat on Alice's bed. His eyebrow raised, but he shrugged and walked over to seat himself beside me. I flinched slightly which to my great displeasure, he noticed. "What's wrong Bella?" He asked. I shook my head and his pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "C'mon Bella," He groaned in exasperation. "I know something's wrong, so don't lie to me." But even in my slightly distraught state, my pride was still there and it wasn't about to allow me to tell him how he made me feel. So instead I just sat there and studied him. His angular features, his strong jaw, his deep, soulful eyes. He grinned his lopsided grin at me and I blushed and looked away. I felt the bed shake and looked back over to see that he had lain down. _

_"What are you doing?" I questioned before I could stop myself._

_ He sighed and replied "You know how Alice and Jasper are when they're together. They talk for hours and always end up staying up all night. I don't feel like listening to them gossip like old ladies so I'm staying in here tonight. Is that a problem?" He asked. My throat went dry and I quickly cleared it, shaking my head. "Not at all." I replied, pleased to hear that my voice wasn't reflecting how I was quaking on the inside. I hoisted myself off the bed, and started to head towards the couch when his hand grabbed my arm, pulling me back onto the bed. I fell ungracefully next to him. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked in an amused voice. "I was going to go sleep on the couch. " I stuttered, inching away from him. But he just shook his head and pulled me into a bear hug. "Oh come on Bells," He said in a sing-song voice. "We've slept in the same bed before." I scoffed at him. "Yeah, when I was five and you were nine." He smiled at me. "What's the difference now?" He said, feigning innocence. I glared at him. "Oh I don't know. " I thought bitterly. "It couldn't be the fact the you're gorgeous and I want to jump your bones." But aloud I said "There isn't one I guess." He smirked and pulled me to his side. "Good, now let's get some sleep." He mumbled into my hair. "I'm beat." I just nodded, resting my head on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. My arm wrapped itself across his stomach and his was wrapped around my back. His breathing slowed and I looked up at him, realizing he had fallen asleep. _

_I started to try and move myself out of his embrace, but his grip only tightened, pulling me closer. So I sighed and enjoyed the feeling of sleeping next to Edward Cullen._

_Bright sunlight shone through Alice's windows as I rolled away from it. I opened one of my eyes and realized that Edward was no longer in bed beside me. Sitting up, I looked wildly around the room for any indication of where he might have gone. My eyes caught sight of a note on the desk. Running, I snatched the note of the desk, scanning through it quickly. After I finished, I slumped down onto the couch, tears pricking my eyes._

_"Dear Bella,_

_Sorry about last night. I was drunk. Hope I didn't do anything that either of us will regret. _

_See you later._

_Edward."_

_I should have known that any interest he had shown in me would be alcohol induced. He was sorry, which meant he thought it was a mistake. I knew that since nothing had happened, I shouldn't be hurt but I was. My heart ached for him. The crush I had been developing intensified. I don't know why, but the thought that he didn't like me and that he was unattainable made me want him even more. _

* * *

~Present Day~

That was two years ago. Two years since I had developed a crush on him. Two years since I hadn't had eyes for anyone else. Two long, pain-staking years. If I said things had gotten easier, I would also be lying. Every time I saw him, my heart would leap to my throat. It didn't help that he was always giving me hugs or carrying me around. The false-hope was killing me inside. I never knew how to act when he was around.

"Bella!" Alice sang into my ear. Her nails sank into my arm as she dragged me into yet another store. "They're having a sale!" I looked up at the sign and groaned, trying to back away. "No Alice!" I hissed. "You know how I feel about that store!" But my escape attempt was futile and I found myself being dragged into Victoria's Secret. It was like I had been transported to an alien world, where everything was pink and lacy. "Bella, if you ever want Edward to notice you, you have to wear things that are sexy!" Alice chided. I felt myself blush and I glared at her for pulling the Edward card. "Fine." I muttered angrily. Sinking into a chair by the dressing rooms, I waited for Alice to collect her usual array of clothes that she would force me into. Our sense of style was so different. I liked wearing jeans and a tee-shirt with a hoodie thrown over top. Chucks were my kind of shoes and I flinched away from anything with heels.

Alice on the other hand wore things that accentuated her figure. At 4'9, she had the best figure I had ever seen. She had silky black hair, cut short and styled to perfection. Her skin was flawless and she looked like a porcelain doll. Her lips were pink and pouty and her nose was small and fairy-like. But her eye's were was really made her face pop. They were large and full of wonder and were the lightest shade of blue. They were framed with long, dark lashes . Her beauty rivaled that of Rosalie's, Emmett's model-worthy wife. I never knew why they chose to hang out with me. I wasn't ugly, but I was by no means as gorgeous as either of them. My hair was brown and down to the middle of my back. My skin was almost translucent, being the palest white you could imagine. My eye's were a flat brown with little flecks of olive green around the rims. My lips were different sizes, my top being slightly smaller than my bottom, giving them an odd heart shape. I was short, only 5'1. My figure, in my eyes at least, was almost non-existent. I looked like plain-jane next to the lot of them.

Suddenly, Alice dumped a pile of clothes on me that was almost as tall as she was. "Here." She said, smiling. "Try these on." My eyes widened. "But Alice," I groaned. "This will take forever!" Alice shoved me into a dressing room. "Go!"

* * *

The final items we bought were a large array of multi-colored lingerie, a couple of low cut shirts, and a grey ruffled mini skirt. It was all for me and as always, Alice wouldn't let me pay a cent of it. "Alice!" I huffed in frustration. "I have a job, I can pay for this!" But Alice just ignored me and swiped her card. "Consider it your birthday present." She said simply. I rolled my eyes at her." Alice, my birthday was last month." Alice just winked, taking three bags in each hand and headed for the door.

* * *

"Holy Alice!" I heard Emmett cry as we walked through the front door. "What, did you buy the whole store?" Alice's tinkling laugh filled the air as she walked past him to her room. "If only I could Emmybear, if only I could." She sang.

I staggered under the weight of all my bags, tripping onto the floor. "Fuck!" I groaned, looking at all the lingerie spread across the floor. Emmett walked over and held up a black and pink lacy bra. "Who is this for?" He asked, in a low voice. I quickly snatched it back. "That would be for me." I replied, groaning. His eyes widened and his mouth was slightly ajar. "Bella Swan!" He yelled. "I thought you were a virgin!" My whole body was set to flames as I screamed back. "Jesus Christ Emmett, I am!" Peals of laughter sounded from behind me, and I felt my stomach drop. There in the doorway stood Edward Cullen and his girlfriend, Tanya Denali.

Fuck my life.

"Awwe, isn't that cute Eddie?" Tanya screeched. "Wittle Bella's still a virgin." I struggled to keep my cool, as I always did when she was around. Everything she did grated on my nerves, and I was always longing to punch her straight in her plastic face. I forced a smile onto my face and looked at her." Well at least it doesn't burn when _I_ pee." I replied sweetly, making sure to emphasize "I". The grin dropped off her face and was replaced by a scowl. "Eddiee!" She whined. "She's being mean to me!" I scoffed. "I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter." Edward sighed in frustration. "Bella," He warned. I shot daggers at him with my eyes. "What? I'm not the one who decided to open their disgusting mouth yet again."

"Go die, you ugly bitch." Tanya hissed. I rolled my eyes and looked at Edward like "See?" But I was hurt to discover that Edward was nodding. "Bella, I think you need to leave." My mouth dropped open and Emmett yelled. "What?" Edward jumped but replied. "If Bella can't act like a mature adult when Tanya's around, then I see no reason for her to be around at all." My heart broke, as I realized that Edward was choosing his two-month relationship over our seventeen-years of friendship. "Edward," Emmett growled angrily. "That cunt started it. Or did you go into a temporary coma like you always do whenever she's badmouthing Bella?"

But I had heard enough. Kissing Emmett on the cheek goodbye, I walked out the door and to my truck. I heard Alice and Emmett running after me, but I simply started up the engine and peeled out of there.

**So, a lot happened in this chapter xD!**

**But please review? Reviews help me write (:**

**Until next time **

**J**


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